Berta's Story - Life and Dreams

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It does not matter how a person gets infected with the virus. Once the person is infected, it is a serious condition: "one's health". It is even more complicated for her or him if from an developing country, because in these countries infected people are still dying suddenly of Tuberculosis and other AIDS related diseases.

When I knew of my "Positive" condition, I only had 3 months to return to my country. I had already formulated plans of what my life would be like on my return. My GP recommended that it would be better and preferable for him to have some period of observation of my immune system's response to the virus. I decided to extend my visa for another year with the help my tutor.

In addition, I became really depressed when I knew that this meant that I was going to continue working long hours (10 to 12hrs) as a cleaner. Cleaning is not a suitable job for me because there is nothing to alleviate the pain on my legs caused by the fatigue. I soon realised that my social status here in the UK not only affected me psychologically, but also it began to affect the change in the type of the few people with whom I dared to share my problem. They responded in a manner which did not share any common feelings as I would have expected and did not show any empathy.

Things definitely changed, but I thought that the only thing that does not change was love. When I speak of love, I speak of the love between friends. I began to see the world in two sides "the positives and the negatives", and this way it did no longer hurt much.

But there is always an exception in every rule. There was a special friend; he proposed to me and wanted to get married. He thought that by getting married, it would help me to get on with my life and that I could stop working late and concentrate on my studies without much stress and pain. He suggested that we could live together happily as brother and sister. I thought that it was not right for me to accept this 'dream life' and to pretend to him that it would be a normal life.

I believe that one has a right to choose the person one would like to marry. It is not that I did not have this dream. I have dreams like any other positive person who does not have easy access to treatment in their country. When I think about everything that I had to go through and had to resist, it is only because of the fear of falling ill in my country and not to jeopardize my family by making them face a problem which they are not prepared for financially and socially.

I was informed by a person who worked with women affected by the HIV virus that in my country to have the right to medical care I would have to start a legal battle with the health system. This would take more than one year. She also told me that, of the last 10 women that tried this process, 2 of them got ill. She also said the community around these HIV positive women was very unkind to these women who tried to start a legal battle in my country.

I believe that really it is very hard to dare to dream. Then I say that

Life is about fighting for one's dreams. Now I will return to my country in September and will begin to fight for my rights. Maybe life is about joining in this struggle but what is a person without a dream? Life is nothing without dreams. Life and dreams walk together and love is forever when it is really love.

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